Right now Barsis is making me an Oaxaca Old Fashioned, but it could literally be any of 2,000 other drinks if I only had the ingredients. In the “Oaxaca” drink alone we potentially also have a “flower”, a “gold” and a “tail”. Barseys promises about 50 vintages and more than 70 versions of the mule. (A third cocktail machine option, Bev by Black + Decker, uses Bartesian capsules with a different device design. It is likely to be discontinued, but it is still available on Amazon, according to representatives.)
It’s all pretty ridiculous, my friends reassure me, when I send them videos of Barsis aggressively spitting the contents into a glass whose magnetic bottom turns the liquid inside into an icy, foamy whirlpool.
“I’m embarrassed to see this,” my editor at WIRED wrote.
“This is so stupid,” said one friend, before adding, “You should definitely bring it up.”
No one In fact Of course, making a good cocktail requires a machine. But you might still want one. I have a theory, the kind of big idea you sometimes hear in small bars. The promise of the automatic cocktail machine is neither ease, nor necessity, nor utility. Instead, it’s excitement. It’s funny. This is what will make today different from tomorrow. It’s a little silliness that makes your neighbor happy when you come over, gives people something to talk about at a holiday party, or lightly entertains your partner after a Tuesday that has taken away his entire life.
As the holiday party season approaches, here’s how to choose between two flawed but kinda fun cocktail machines. Machines that mirror their lives.
Best for Parties: The Barsys 360
-
Photograph: Matthew Korfage
-
Photograph: Matthew Korfage
wired
- The machine measures the weight very accurately
- Phone app suggests one of 2,000 cocktails based on ingredients
- It looks good, doesn’t it?
tired
- Cleaning, flushing and changing materials take a lot of effort
- The app may be a little small, and harder to navigate
- This is a dirty thing. cleaning, again
The Barsys 360 is truly an attractive machine. Select your drink on the device’s phone app, and the machine will light up like a discotheque or a try-hard bowling alley. The Barsys leaves hard, aggressive cuttings – impressively accurate, by my measurements, to within three-hundredths of an ounce.
As it pours your drink, the light on the device will change from white to blue to green when your cocktail is ready. And if you also purchased the Barsys Mixer Glass ($45) with a magnetic spinner, the cup will now spin your drinks, ice and all, much faster than it spins your Tropical Diamond Daiquiri into green-light froth. Whoopee! The sparkling, swirling drink!
We’re firmly in party-trick territory here. And Lord, it’s stupid. and fun. and stupid. If you keep it on your kitchen counter, this appliance may cause you to make too many drinks just because you can, and because you’ve filled the reservoirs anyway. This can be dangerous on a working night.