A comedy speed dating show takes place in Barcelona “Loliamorous”It’s live and offline, not TV,
The format is inspired by traditional speed datingRandom couples from the audience come on stage for a two-minute date, after which the host spends a few minutes asking them questions, telling jokes and sometimes roasting them,
On stage between the participants is a table with two buckets containing questions. The buckets are labeled “deep” and “dirty”. At any time, a participant can draw a question from any one bucket.
I swore to myself at the beginning of the show, if they called my name, I would do it No Use those questions. You see, I’m a writer, an artist, a free thinker. I’m using some random prompts written by god-knows-who above. My questions must be artistic and handmade.
They pick my name from the name bucket. I arrive on stage with a beautiful blonde woman about 30 years old. Start date:
Host: “Why did you decide to come on the comedy speed dating show?”
Me: “My whole life is a joke.”
Her: “Is this your first time on a show like this?”
Me: “Yeah, what about you?”
Her: “It’s my third time.”
Me: “Looks like these shows aren’t the best way to fix your love life.”
Then I don’t know what to say – my mind goes completely blank. He is also silent. We sit in silence for another 10 seconds, and then she says, “So, should we raise a question from the bucket?”
I look at the buckets, remember the promise I made to myself, look back at her and say, “I’d rather sit here in awkward silence.” And we do the same for the remaining one and a half minutes.
I’m a big supporter of this bend the equanimity – Going against the Kring field to reach internal alignment as Kring is the thief of internal freedom. There is an expression: “Hit the part that shrinks, not the part that shrinks.” The part of me that would shrink in this position is long dead (or, rather, absorbed). Therefore, there was no special problem in being on the stage. The hosts’ questions afterward were mostly disappointment-related – so some people in the audience may have been disappointed.
A handsome guy in the audience stands up and says, “I could have done better.”
The hosts said, “Okay then, let’s try.”
To fuck with him, they swap the girl for this guy. Suddenly he’s on a “friendship date” with me.
The host starts asking questions directly to both of us. That boy was intuitive and quick in thinking. I continued to lean into my role as a cringe connoisseur of the finest caliber. Even with zero movement on stage it was an intense experience: the bright lights are as if you’ve been abducted by aliens. And like alien abductions, at some point memories become blurry. I don’t remember the hosts’ questions, except for the last question:
“What’s the worst place for a first date?”
“This show,” I reply.
“Thanks for playing.”
They changed me from my original speed date. Now that woman is on the stage in my chair on a date with that smooth guy. I go back to my seat. As soon as I sit down, the guy next to me says, “Man, that was awesome. Really cool, thanks.” Thank you YouFriend.
Cringe is a cage that the mind builds for itself. Never miss the opportunity to explore its outlines. There’s a prize on the other side: if not a woman’s love, then the admiration of another straight man.