Today, that childhood dream is finally coming true. Today I can finally say the sweetest nine or ten words in the English language: The Global Tetrahedron has completed its plan to take control of InfoWars.com.
I’ve had a lot of time to think about InfoWars over the past year and a half. As the seasons have changed, my ambitions for the project have become grander, more brutal, and better aligned with market data. Come on guys, and imagine with me…
Imagine a roaring arena full of pathological liars. There are podcasters above you in nosebleeds, screaming that you will die if you don’t buy their skin care products. Below, on the floor, imagine monstrous battalions of super-influencers physically forcing people into home fitness equipment designed to break down their bodies bone by bone and reassemble them into a grotesque sculpture of you. From the crowd, an extremely sick looking man approaches you. He places his hands on your shoulders. He explains that he is your life coach and that you owe him $800.
I imagine such an Infowars: an infinite virtual surface filled with advertisements. Not just ads, but also scams! Not just scams, but purposeless lies, free radical misinformation, sentences and images so poorly thought out that it’s unhealthy to even look at them for just a few seconds. The old Infowars were merely the prototype of the hell I know we could build together: a digital platform where, every day, visitors sacrifice themselves on the altars of confusion and suffering, their minds completely shattered upon contact.
With this new Infowars, we will democratize psychological torture, welcoming the cruel and sadistic views of everyone, even the most stupid among us. It would be like the Manhattan Project, only instead of a bomb, we’d build a website.
The infowars of tomorrow will be transformed into a swirling whirlpool of content about content, talent acquiring talent, rings of concentrated media mergers that will turn all human artistry into an endlessly digestible slurp. It will be a dank, sunless place, where panic and capital cradle each other like twins in the womb of a vast, unknown monster – a monster that goes by many names, but which I prefer to call Modern America.
All this to say that I believe in us. I believe that with the new InfoWars, we can better the pioneering spirit of amateur inquiry, the profit-maximizing drives of corporations, and the cool mental clarity that only comes from disciplined daily intake of mind- and body-altering chemicals. If We can do this, what other great things can we do together?
I don’t know yet, but I’m excited to find out. Welcome home, warriors. the future is ours. We are writing the story right now. This is going to last, and it’s going to be bad.
So settle down. Make yourself comfortable. Buy a tote bag.
Now that we are in charge of a website no one can stop us.
Infinite growth always,
Bryce Tetrahedron, CEO, Global Tetrahedron
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