Photograph: Pete Cottell
others tested
Four Sigmatic Organic Coffee for $20: Four Sigmatic was founded about a decade ago by Finnish-American bohos who had the know-how to market mushroom coffee to entice Angelenos who are rich enough to ignore science. Its catalog is extensive and includes a full range of mushroom-infused foods, with bagged, preground coffee serving as the flagship product, along with instant latte mixes, smoothie add-ins, and “capsules.” Purchasing from Four Sigmatic is very easy—no need for subscriptions, kits, or any other nonsense. Simply choose what you want, pay for it and it will show up at your doorstep a few days later. Four Sigmatic’s Focus blend is labeled as a dark roast, but it’s missing the cigarette-butt-and-bowling-alley flavor that appears in the finish of similar blends. Despite my preference for mild beans, this felt like a hug from an old friend after several weeks of drinking dirty sludge. The caffeine amount returned to normal after two days of using Think in lieu of a more standard showroom-based coffee replacement, so I added three-quarters of a teaspoon of the powdered Focus blend to my daily cup to see what would happen. Within 10 minutes I felt the urge to sort out my finance spreadsheets in preparation for tax season, then I installed a new template in Loopy Pro to accommodate a friend who planned to join my basement jam session that evening. He bailed, but I was under pressure from Genius Adaptogens, so I played all the instruments myself into the early hours of the night.
Photograph: Pete Cottell
not recommended
MUD/WTR Original Mix for $45: MUD/WTR’s packaging isn’t as baggy as the Dr. Bronner’s bottle, but it’s definitely in the same league. The spicy dust inside the can is also a maximalist circus of weirdness, with herbal stalwarts like turmeric and masala chai holding it down with the usual shrooms suspects. It took me a few days to realize that properly emulsifying this heady power according to the suggested instructions – 1 tablespoon with ¾ cup water, grinding thoroughly with the included handheld immersion blender – is an impossible task, so I began experimenting with supplemental ingredients in the hope that some mixture of milk, fat, and sugar would reduce the gritty flavor that overpowers the palate. I whipped up 1 tablespoon of simple syrup and 4 ounces of frothed whole milk in my trusty subminimal NanoFoamer Pro. The end result is somewhere between a chai latte and the kind of hot cocoa you order at a coffee shop with boring 90s music, mean baristas, and a dirty bin full of stale vegan + gluten-free snacks next to the register. I didn’t hate it, but the bottom of the cup was full of non-drinkable mess. And don’t get me started about the thick brown lace stuck to the side of the cup. The physical and mental effects of MUD/WTR felt more like a facsimile of a boost than a gut kick in the pants, but a placebo high is better than nothing, right? Combine that with the amount of adjuncts needed to make it drinkable and I got a drink that I would drink occasionally on cold days, rather than as a daily sipper, that I could rely on for increased focus, energy, virility, and the million other things that this product promises within the wall of text that adorns its packaging.
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