It was a typical workday for the 33-year-old program analyst from Arlington, Virginia. “When brothers praise me and say they are enjoying [me]”I get to that tipping point so fast,” says Roman. His favorite examples are “when they all come to the point I’m at.” Sometimes, when he’s feeling particularly kinky, Roman, who is bisexual, likes to ask permission before climaxing. When permission is granted, he releases and his body, he says, shakes for 10 seconds. “Pure joy,” he calls it.
At least a few times a month on BetMates, a social app for men who like to masturbate with other men, Roman will spend an hour online with his brothers. Masturbation – or “betting” as it is known online – has always helped him relieve stress and find his centre.
He is not alone. Billed as an “all-in-one platform designed to embrace batting as a lifestyle together,” Batmates is the newest destination for quirky fun. Roman says, “It’s a community of like-minded people who are trying to be porn for others, literally, while watching others enjoy themselves.” “Group play with hot girls from around the world. What’s not to like?”
Although BetMates technically launched in October 2024, it wasn’t until last year that it really started to become popular as a viable and safe alternative to other online betting platforms.
Almost all of the batsmen WIRED spoke to said they were introduced to the lifestyle in 2020, during COVID, because, as one of them said, “there was nothing else to do.” Gone are the days of the discreet sauna circle jerk. Instead, men flocked to private video channels on Skype and Zoom for digital jam sessions, where they had community conversations with other men around the world through the portal of their laptop screens. During this period, virtual sessions became so popular that sometimes they took place with as many as 100 people in the same room.
Everything changed last year. Skype was shut down in May. Zoom sessions began to be reported more frequently. (“Sensitive content,” including porn, nudity, and “other material that may arouse sexual arousal” is prohibited according to the company’s acceptable use guidelines; Zoom did not respond to a request for comment.) Some queer bettors have since joined Teams, Microsoft’s chat and video-conferencing app; Others rely on chat forums like Betworld – a Reddit-style platform for all things male masturbation that is arguably the most popular destination for bettors – as well as Discord, Telegram, and Reddit to find bros.
Betmates emerged as an exciting replacement. “All the corporate tools were just banning us,” says Johan Guams, founder of Betmates. “As members of the LGBTQ+ community, we had no place. I was really upset by the hypocrisy of the situation, especially when it’s something everyone does.”
BetMates wants to end corporate sanctimoniousness around adult content. It’s an ethos that the company has also incorporated into its branding. A recent ad posted on X makes it clear: “Your friends. Your boss. Your coach. Your coworker. Everyone’s betting.”
Microsoft declined to comment, but according to both its digital security policy and its terms of use, “any images, video, audio, text, or links that depict or depict nudity, sexual acts, sexual provocation, or sexual violence” are prohibited on Teams.
Although Guams, who is 31 and from Paris, was also a regular at various Zoom batting sessions during the pandemic, he often left them wanting more. “I was like, OK, I masturbate on Zoom, but I don’t know who these people are. There’s no control. I can’t keep in touch with them. Sometimes you get crazy people. The experience feels very complicated.”
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