I Tested Popular Functional Coffee Add-Ins for a Week Each (2026)

first influencers And the Manosphere Loons added protein to the ice cream, and I didn’t care about it because I rarely eat ice cream. Then they mixed it into popcorn, and I didn’t care because I rarely eat popcorn. Now they’re adding it to coffee creamer, and I’m forced to care about it because I’m hopelessly addicted to coffee, caffeine, and anything in this area.

Memes aside, protein is everywhere these days. The usual suspects blame it on the rise of wellness culture, the right-wing tilt of America’s political gestalt, and the noxious fumes emitted by the late-stage capitalist machine into which we are all bound, whether we like it or not. The cosmic ship is sinking. You too can step up and play your part in keeping the economy moving as long as possible.

Protein isn’t the only thing Shopify-powered wellness brands are encouraging you to add to your coffee, but it’s definitely the most high-profile and hyped accessory to add to your daily drink. Mushroom extracts, nootropics, amino acids, collagen, and a range of other chemical compounds that get your brain to fire on all cylinders are all fair game here, meaning the possibilities in this space are nearly endless. Coffee may be the final frontier in protein intake, and we’re totally here for it.

To get a grip on the ground, I rigorously tested eight readily available functional coffee add-ins to determine which ones are legit and which ones are losers. I spent a week with each, adding the dosages detailed in the serving size section of the nutrition facts panel to an 8-ounce cup of coffee. Some people explicitly instructed us to add the dose to a larger cup of liquid, in which case we increased the amount of coffee used as a base. The coffee I used was single-origin Guatemala beans roasted by Atlas Coffee Club. It was made in Fellow Eden on the Light Roast Guided Brew setting in 5-cup batches.

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