For decades, the public face of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, widely known as the Mormon Church, included the playfulness of the Osmond family and missionaries on bicycles, portraying an unwavering, wholesome image. Nowadays, the most visible and defining portrayals of faith are being led by women on reality TV shows like Bravo real housewives of salt lake city and hulu The Secret Life of Mormon Wives,
The first of these voices is that of Heather Gay. RHOSLCA member of the original cast, Gay has shared his story of leaving the church in the reality series and his best-selling memoir bad mormonAnd recently came out with the documentary survive mormonism On peacock.
“I think women are doing it (appearing on reality TV) because it’s the only means of finding our identity or power in a patriarchal, hierarchical structure,” Gay said in an interview. newsweek‘S parting shot podcast. This structure is rooted in the fact that only men can hold the priesthood, which is the divine right to act in the name of God in the church. They control all leadership and ecclesiastical roles. Gay said, “Mormon men are like little kings of their own kingdom, so they don’t want to be defined by it, or they don’t want to look under the covers of the bed because it works so well for them.” newsweek The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints was contacted for comment.
But as lead characters in these TV shows, women have demonstrated many of the complexities of Mormon life, past and present. Gay said, “Whenever I wake up I still feel like I’m a Mormon. My personality was a Mormon, so I’m still trying to uncover that every day.”
Gay is seen exploring a new and complex life RHOSLC By drinking, coping with life as a single mother or talking to family members about their faith crisis. The Secret Life of Mormon Wives Describes the lives of young Mormon women who are seen dancing in clubs, providing financial support for their families and moving on with life after divorce.
“I think we’re talking about topics and things that people have struggled with for a long time. Dressing up, drinking, having premarital sex, I think these are things that (Mormons) have been doing but there’s a lot of shame around them.” slomvLaila Taylor said. According to Latter-day practices, the garments are sacred undergarments worn only by ordained members to remind themselves of temple covenants, while drinking alcohol is prohibited by the Word of Wisdom (which also prohibits coffee and tea) and violates the law of sexual purity before marriage. “Talking openly about these topics is making people feel less alone,” Taylor said.
These more diverse portrayals have shifted the public’s perception of Mormonism into more uncharted territory. For many, including Gay, the post-Mormon reality is more about uncertainty.
“best” artist
It may seem paradoxical that a confidence built on humility would thrive under the unrelenting gaze of reality television cameras. But, Gay said, the two are not so different. “Mormonism is such a performative faith. It’s like showing off, looking a certain way, behaving a certain way. It’s not even about how you really feel, it’s about how you present yourself to the world. This kind of being demonstrative makes us perfect for reality TV.”
The Secret Life of Mormon Wives 2024 took TV by storm with three seasons in a little over a year. It follows Mormon mothers who rose to Internet fame as an influencer group called “MomTok”. From “soft swinging” where they would kiss each other’s husbands, to drinking and emotional affairs, there was a lot to see. slomv Seems contrary to religion. But, like gays, even those who have left the church feel pressure to maintain attendance.
Taylor, who is still a member of the church but is not practicing, said the church does not need to get rid of its rules but rather modernize them, so that people can “feel like your sins are not too sinful to be a part of the church. I think that’s the huge problem with the church, that you do something wrong and can’t talk openly about it or you’ll be excommunicated.”
For Gay, leaving the church was no ordinary lighthearted moment. For the millions who have done the same, leaving Mormonism is an existential rupture. “It’s behavior. The church is your behavior,” Gay said, adding that it’s very hard to break the habit of being a Mormon. “It’s not just your worship on Sunday, it’s your behavior every day of the week.”
In a faith where men hold all priesthood authority, reality TV has become an unexpected loophole for female dissent.
young mothers ahead slomv Traditionally they are expected to stay at home and take care of the household. But they are the breadwinners in their relationships, and as women break generational gender norms, their husbands have to do the same.
“Gender roles have been a very taboo subject because what we’ve been traditionally taught as Mormons was that as women, our role is just to take care of the children and provide for the man,” slomvJane Affleck said.
Viewers watched her and her husband Zac Affleck struggle to navigate life in an unconventional Mormon marriage. Zac Affleck, who comes from generations of Mormons, initially inspired his wife to leave Momtoc to support his dream of going to medical school across the country. But, as he got more opportunities, he came to terms with the idea of a more balanced relationship, even going so far as to be a stay-at-home father while his wife stepped in. dancing with the stars,
“At the end of the day, you have to do what’s right and best for you, and just because you’ve been traditionally taught one way doesn’t mean the other way is wrong,” she said. “Don’t let traditional cultural pressures stop you from doing this.”
televised testimony
There is a price to be paid for this public disinformation. Gay admitted to feeling “survivor’s guilt” while acknowledging the “privilege” of the Bravo platform, which most ex-Mormons lack. “I had all the privilege, something big came up that allowed me to let go of that rope. Most Mormons who leave don’t have a (hugely better) life. Your life is worse in many ways, but they have enough integrity not to live a double life and not pretend just to protect belonging.”
And sometimes the violation of church norms allows them to question how some people are treated. Macy Neely is one of the few women slomv Joe is an active member of the LDS Church and has spoken about his stance on LGBTQ+ issues while participating in a pride parade on the show.
Taylor, meanwhile, said she was “naive and young” when she joined the church as a teenager, and has found it difficult to reconcile her faith with a scripture in the Book of Mormon that has historically meant “black skin is a curse” – something Taylor, who is biracial, did not know when she converted. Citing this and other beliefs, church policy before 1978 barred black people from holding the priesthood and denied black people access to integral religious ceremonies.
In 1978, a revelation known as “Official Declaration 2” ended this restriction, allowing all “qualified male members” to receive the priesthood. In 2013 the Church’s essay titled “Race and the Priesthood” rejected theories that the ban was based on divine insult or “curse”. “I understand the time period these were written,” Taylor said. “However, for me, during my personal journey of embracing my Black identity, I chose not to be active in a church that once had this in writing,” she said. “Although I am grateful for the influence positive parts of the church have had on my life when I needed hope and emotional support, personally I cannot be a part of something I do not morally agree with.”
Ultimately, the women who define Mormonism in pop culture are doing more than just making good television. They are bearing a testimony, bearing witness to experiences that the church has historically silenced. In the process, they are showing examples of the multifacetedness of Mormonism that may force the church to modernize.
“If you are the true church on earth, you must be strong enough to listen to people who have had bad experiences within that church,” Gay said of why he thinks the church should listen to people like him share their experiences with faith. “If your humanity can’t cross that line, then you need to question your humanity.”
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